Planning for Retirement as a Couple

Retirement is often framed as an individual decision. But for couples, there is another layer of complexity, and preparing well together can make all the difference in how things turn out. Unfortunately, couples often fail to communicate their plans for retirement because they assume they are already on the same page.

So the number one piece of advice for couples planning for retirement is the same as for couples at any other point: communicate.

But with drastic changes in day-to-day life after retirement, couples often face entirely new changes and challenges. Relationships that worked well in pre-retirement years sometimes need a bit of work during retirement. The rise in divorce rates among those around the average retirement age reinforces the new challenges that may arise in this phase of life. 

While divorce rates have gone down among younger age groups between 1990 and 2021, divorce rates among 65+ age group have tripled [1]. That being said, divorce rates among younger groups are still much higher than for those 65+—so it seems there is still something to be said for experience when it comes to marriage.

But what can couples do to better prepare for relationship changes in retirement? 

We have outlined six topics that are sometimes overlooked or even dismissed, and which can result in some struggles down the road. Taking time to discuss each of these points will go a long way to helping you prepare for retirement as a couple.

1. Get specific about your vision. 

Before you (and/or your partner) retire, take time to understand one another's hopes, expectations, and concerns for this next chapter. Also make sure to go beyond the big ideas and explore your vision for day-to-day life, between the travel, projects, etc. What will it look like for you, as individuals and as a couple?

What are the things you feel you must do in retirement? Where do you want to live? Who will you want to spend time with? Which pursuits will you enjoy? 

2. Get clear on your financial plan together.

Each partner’s involvement in financial planning is crucial for the plan to work. Furthermore, in the event of a health challenge or even the loss of your spouse, you will be so much better off if you already have a clear understanding of your financial situation. If you are not already meeting with a financial planner as a couple, now is the time to start.

3. Reflect on how retirement timing will impact your relationship.

Retiring at the same time can be difficult to actually execute, given the factors that come into play with the timing of retirement. But whether you retire at the same time, or different times, this will mean a unique set of changes and adjustments. 

Retiring at the same time will mean navigating retirement together, as a couple, while also navigating your own personal adjustments to retirement. Retiring at different times, on the other hand, will mean that one partner may be at home while the other is working. With either of these scenarios, there will be different expectations and hopes.

4. Consider time together versus time apart.

Retirement is an opportunity to spend more time with your partner. It also means you will probably have more time together than ever before. Spending time apart, on your own individual interests and with your own social circles can be just as beneficial for your relationship as having more time together. What pursuits will you enjoy together, and what will you enjoy doing separately?

5. Renegotiate household chores.

When one or both partners in a relationship retire, there are often shifting expectations around household responsibilities. Openly discussing these expectations and changes ahead of time helps to support a smooth transition for both partners.

6. Talk about how retirement is going.

Check in with one another about how you’re feeling about retirement. Everyone experiences retirement differently. For those who found a great deal of enjoyment with work, retirement might mean having to discover new avenues for fulfilment. For others, retirement may be exactly what they needed. More importantly, your feelings about retirement may change and fluctuate over time. Having a partner who will listen to your experiences is an invaluable form of support when things are challenging.

The same practices that have kept your relationship strong up to the point of retirement will also help to support your relationship in retirement. Nevertheless, there are bound to be some changes and adjustments that you will face as a couple after retirement. Communication around these changes will be crucial. 

For relationships that are struggling before retirement, extra care and attention may be required to successfully navigate this new terrain. For couples, satisfaction with retirement is not only about individual experiences, but the quality of their relationship.

[1] https://www.bgsu.edu/ncfmr/resources/data/family-profiles/westrick-payne-lin-age-variation-divorce-rate-1990-2021-fp-23-16.html

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For more information on retirement life planning, you can book a complimentary consultation with a retirement coach, or have a look at our training programs for professionals working with retiring clients.

Four Tips for Creating a Retirement Life Plan

A robust financial plan provides a crucial foundation for retirement, but preparing for a successful and satisfying retirement does not end there. To enjoy the years that you have worked so hard for, a retirement life plan is imperative. Think of this as scaffolding for a gratifying next chapter, which includes both financial and non-financial considerations. More importantly, it means focusing on factors that really contribute to a sense of fulfillment and engagement.

Why is a retirement life plan important?

While many people make the change and adjust well to retirement life, it is also not uncommon to really struggle with lifestyle changes. Contrary to expectations, retirement is not all about travel, sleeping in, and doing what you want, when you want. Retirees often find that they need to make adjustments in their day-to-day routines, long for more engaging and meaningful pursuits, and sometimes face more significant adjustment challenges, such as feeling like they are no longer the same person.

After so many years spent working, work usually becomes an integral part of who we are, even when we are not really thinking about it this way. Aside from a paycheck, work usually provides various other benefits for our general wellbeing (more so for some than for others): It provides a built-in network of social connections, structure and routine in our days and weeks (albeit usually too much), and for those fortunate enough, work can be incredibly engaging, meaningful, and rewarding.

So how do you prepare for the non-financial side of retirement, and create a retirement life plan that will carry you through to a fulfilling new chapter? Below are a few tips to get you started in more fully developing your plans for retirement.

1. Enjoy the honeymoon phase.

Relaxation, travel, and projects around the house are some of the things that tend to come to mind for most people when they think of retirement. These ideas reflect what we call the honeymoon phase—the early phase of retirement that includes all of the things you look forward to doing without work being in the way.

A retirement life plan helps you look beyond the honeymoon phase, to consider what you will do when you have had enough relaxation, or have finished your projects around the house. This is because many people will experience a period of letdown after an initial bout of enjoyment while embracing their newfound freedom. But a retirement life plan includes plans for the honeymoon phase, as well as a longer-term vision. So, take retirement life planning seriously AND also embrace the freedom that retirement offers.

2. Brainstorm meaningful pursuits.

People often worry about keeping busy and having enough to do in retirement. Rather than worrying about finding things to do—so that you do not end up sitting around the house—you might focus instead on finding a few meaningful and engaging pursuits.

It is not necessary to fill every hour of every day. But what we do thrive on are pursuits and involvements that are positive, inspiring, meaningful, or rewarding. With retirement life planning, this means starting with YOU—your personal preferences, values, and personal stories.

3. Consider the retiree you want to become.

With retirement, there can be a shift in how we see ourselves, and how others see us. This is because, without even thinking about it, our sense of self is tied to our day-to-day experiences, and how we spend our time. As you prepare for retirement and consider how you will spend your time in retirement, it may be useful to step back and reflect on the type of retiree you would like to become. What does retirement mean for you, and who you are as an individual? How will retirement life reflect core aspects of who you are? 

4. Make note of your support network.

As with any transition, a support network can be crucial to navigating retirement well. This may include formal or informal connections, friends and family, or professionals. Who will support you with key decisions you need to make around retirement? Who will be a positive and supportive person to discuss retirement challenges with? Who will be there to help you out with any practical needs (e.g., who will help you move the couch)?

While financial planning provides a foundation for your retirement, more and more pre-retirees and financial planners are recognising the importance of looking beyond finances for a fulfilling retirement. These four considerations are just a start to more fully considering your retirement life plan.

For more information on retirement life planning, you might also want to have a look at our resources and programmes for both those in the retirement transition, and professionals who are working with them.

Retirement and Your Legacy

Conversations about leaving a legacy often intersect with retirement planning. With financial planning for retirement, discussions often revolve around leaving behind tangible assets or financial resources. But there are other facets of legacy that can hold equal or even greater personal significance as you approach retirement.

Considering the legacy you hope to leave as you near retirement can influence the choices you make concerning your lifestyle. Moreover, the transition to retirement, itself, can provide a unique opportunity to pause, reflect, and contemplate your legacy—what you wish to leave behind and the essence of legacy in your eyes.

Legacy in your career

With retirement, you may consider both the legacy you're leaving at work and in life as a whole. Work is often a significant avenue for leaving our mark on the world; and so, for many, retirement signifies this point at which we have finished leaving our mark in this way. This may bring up feelings of satisfaction and reward, or it may also bring up feelings of doubt and reluctance to retire.

As you contemplate retirement, or begin the transition, it is worth reflecting on the legacy you aim to leave behind in your career. Perhaps there are personal career goals, projects, or commitments you want to see through before transitioning to retirement. You might also consider any unfinished work that remains, and opportunities that exist to complete it or to pass it on to others to take over and build upon. How would you like to be remembered in your career? How will you know when your work is done, or ready to be left to others?

What does legacy mean to you, outside of work?

Retirement also presents an opportunity to think about leaving a legacy outside of work. It can be the ideal time to focus on the legacy you want to leave, beyond your professional sphere. What other ways do you wish to make a lasting impact on the world? How would you like to create something meaningful that can be passed on to others?

Legacy can be viewed from many different angles–from material to intellectual, emotional, creative, social, or environmental. Below are some ideas about different facets of legacy, but the key is to identify what resonates most for you. Your legacy is about the way in which you would like to leave your mark, or leave something behind. 

1. Material legacy-tangible assets, possessions, or financial resources (e.g., real estate, heirlooms, or charitable donations)

2. Emotional legacy-connections with, and emotional impact on others (e.g., memories, feelings, and bonds with others)

3. Social legacy-impact on society as a whole (e.g., tackling social justice issues, creating positive change in society, and improving the lives of others on a small or large scale)

4. Environmental legacy-impact on the environment and the planet

5. Intellectual legacy-knowledge and wisdom that you leave behind (e.g., through mentoring, research, teaching, or writing)

6. Creative legacy- artistic and creative works that you leave behind (e.g., writing, music, woodwork, photography, paintings)

Which of these facets of legacy resonates most with you? What other facets of legacy come up for you, that were not included here? What is most important for you to focus on, as you consider your retirement? 

At Retirement Life Plan, we focus on preparation for the non-financial side of retirement. Whether you are retiring yourself, or working with others in the retirement transition, our research-based programmes provide you with specialised insights and tools for retirement life planning.